How many years we'd fought for moments - minutes - to be together. I had no idea how desperately we'd been fighting. I had no idea how much we'd lost, no idea how much of him I'd longed for. The only steady, reliable heartbeat I've ever had. On the darkest days you have to search for a spot of brightness, on the coldest days you have to seek out a spot of warmth on the bleakest days you have to. To know for certain now that there was at least one mistake I never made.Īaron Warner Anderson is the only emotional through line in my life that ever made sense. It's an empowering discovery, to find that I can trust myself - even when I'm not myself - to make the right choices. Heavier, like my feet have been more firmly planted, liberated by certainty, free to grow roots here in my own self, free to trust unequivocally in the strength and steadiness of my own heart. My memories of him - memories of us - have done something to me. “In this new, turbulent reality, the one person I recognize is him.
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